I went to the hair salon in the ghetto yesterday - the one in which Feline (of Smackdown vs Raw fame) reigns supreme. Feline wasn't there, but another equally feisty Jamaican fatty was, and she provided many a blog-worthy moment. So many in fact that it would be far too tedious to sift through my memory in order to select the most worthy of the blog-worthy.
On a more general note though, what is it about hairdressers in London? Is it because we (black women that is) entrust them with our most prized possessions that the city allows them (on a regular basis) to get away with murder and daylight robbery? Obviously in the ghetto there is no robbery of which to speak, but in posher parts (to which I have been known to take my silly useless head on many an occasion) it is bloody ridiculous! £180 for -N-8,000's worth of hair work! (You do the maths... Ridiculous!)
And do they treat us like royalty? Like the precious (life-giving) gems that we are? NO! They keep us waiting (even when we have appointments), argue with us when we want certain combinations that will take longer to produce (but for which we are ready to pay), and leave us fuming, pissed off, teary and scuttling under the cover of darkness for fear of being seen with the monstrosities they have sealed tight onto our heads.
It is all too much! And in the midst of it all, they have the audacity to be so intimidating!
I've come to discover that a male hairdresser is often the best solution to the problem. He will not shirk you off onto some lesser-trained assistant in the salon, fight with his co-workers over your aching head, scream at you in incomprehensible patois for no apparent reason, or walk out and refuse to do your hair because his choice of tv channel or radio station has been ignored by the rest of the workforce.
Unfortunately though he is only to be found on the (again, RIDICULOUS) posh side of life, he has been known to mess up and leave you teary, and he WILL keep you waiting. At one such posh palace on Wednesday I noticed that the lady to my left (with half a head of braids) was relatively ignored, right from when I arrived, to when I left. I decided that she had to be a self-employed billionaire or a cushy kept-woman, from the calm, unperturbed manner in which she accepted such crap treatment. She sat reading her novel and said nothing to nobody, waiting patiently for her favourite demi-God to find the time to work his magic on her kinky locks.
Why she was willing to sit so patiently, I will never know. What I will say though is that women like her are the reason why hairdressers in this country are such bloody divas, and they are the reason why hairdressers think we have nothing better to do than pass entire days (working days too mind you) in their company. So please, if you are a black women living in or around the London area, kindly huff and puff with impatience during your next visit to "Chez Enrique". It will remind Enrique and all the other little "maestros" in the establishment that your time is precious, even IF you are unemployed, and with nowhere really to go, like Bitchy ;P
Ta! Xxx
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16 comments:
Heeeya, pele! Hope your hair turned out ok. Lol @incomprehensible patois (yep, i can relate only too well!)
I recently discovered lace front wigs and have been rocking mine since last December, and they are the FUTURE!!! I really dont miss those awful trips to the hairdressers...that's for damn sure!
Even if we do huff and puff, they can choose to ignore you, because at the end of the day, WE need their help... I do understnad though, You're not alone trust me, it's the same here in NY, maybe a little worse cos the ones in the ghetto are just as bad
I had to go and re-read the smackdown post. Ahhhh, the memories! That was the first post I read on the blog, I think. Good times!
im totally a hair person so i feel u, knt tell u how many hair dressers ive dropped along the way in my hair journey,
Oh wow, I'm shocked to see that people still read my blog! Gosh, I really should try harder shouldn't I!!
Undacova, this lace front thing, hmmm... I don't know oh. What if it falls off??
Zena, I had my hair done in NY and it was a maaagical experience. How I miss it so. Fine it was a real swanky salon but all the stylists were so cool and I left looking hotter than Beyonce (I kid you not)
Idemili, Yes smack down really was in the good old days wasn't it? I wonder who sapped my blog juice.
Naija Sutra, join the club. I'm thinking to start a "Hairdressers Directory" group on facebook. My phone book is full of their numbers.
Rukks, so that I'll look like you abi? Silly chicken.
You make a fantastic point. I had never really noticed the fact that the hairdressers working in the upper tier of the market are almost always male. What is is that causes the female hairdressers to treat their customers with such disdain? Is it follicle envy?
I have spent a lot of time in Barbershop/hairdressers to witness the appaling treatment that is often meted out to these cowering victims.
This is no word of a lie; I was once present when a women who had been patiently sitting in a salon since middday in the hope of getting a "Ghana weave" She was then told at seven (rather unapologetically) that it would not be possible to start her hair that evening. She muttered a few obscenities (under her breath) and walked out. No doubt she returned even earlier the next day!
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: bald is the way to go!
As for whether I took shots of A.K with people dancing with her on stage, they chucked out all photographers after 10 minutes.. baba'nla nonsense! :-)
actually, I lie: I thought you were referring to the Alicia Keys gig. I didn't hang around for the Simphewene gig to the end. I had all the shots I wanted, and had to file the shots. But God! she was a joy to snap!
Of course we still read your blog. Like junkies returning to a crackhouse long after it has been sealed after the last DEA raid, we hope a vial got left uncrushed by all the jackboots.
Off with the hair! Bald is the new hirsute!
wow toks! i was wondering when you will update us o! i have a blog too.. you and the drama with your hair, maybe i'm going to have to hook you up with one of my hair stylist!!! its good to have you bk on this thing.. regular update will be good.. YES! i know you have a life.. but blogging is part of your life too.. hows the MR FANUTASTIKI! i think that is how to spell it!! i'm a reader now! so now that i am a FAN add me! (Kaffy) xxx
If you're worried about the wig route, the way forward is to get your personal hairdresser who comes to your house! I use both - I have a half wig for when I can't be bothered to style my hair myself but have a guy who comes to my house to fix my actual hair about once a month or sometimes do a weave and it looks like a dream. Plus, it isn't as expensive as you'd think. I can relax, treat and do a weave for about £100. Send me an e-mail and I'll send you his number.
I am happy that you are back.
I have been thinking, for the last 20mins, what to do about this hairdresser problem .
See eh? my cousin does hair very well. She s too polite and she wont charge you since you are my friend. But she lives here in Port Harcourt.
I will have to think up something smart on how to make this
easy, since you live in London.
Once I do I will leave another comment
P.S
I didnt really understand about this whole delete biznes. :)
EYAH! I have to say that one thing black MEN (and yes I speak on behalf of all of my proud brothers) have over our sisters is how we have solved this problem.
We have mastered the art of carving the correct cut! I for instance was content to pay N200 for a nice fade at the back at my local in Lagos, I immigrated to England and was slapped with £10 bill for a half decent job (okay the entertainment was sweet, but still) Now let consider the fact that I used to do this on a weekly basis in Lagos (almost like my spa treatment) £10 a week could sort me out with a nice 1-6 bus pass! There was something wrong there I said, like Richard Branson, I thought something had to change. I too can cut aha is not just clipper!
Women! Rise up, learn the art, see how we black men never have a bad hair day!
Sorry darling, you'll
Re: lace front wigs - you glue them on and tho' they say the glue can last up to 3wks, so far mine has lasted between 7-10days (not bad going). Apparently you can even swim with the wig on and the glue won't be affected (i wouldn't). And finally, just picture Beyonce doing her headless chicken-like dances...to the best of my knowledge, hers has never fallen off :)
ooh yeah lace front wigs are soo in now too they cost like £120-200 i have this link a friend got hers here i have been thinking of getting mine too.. check this out when you get the chance!
http://www.vanityofvanitieshair.com/
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