I'm not a feminist. Should I become one?
Do I understand what 'they' are fighting for? Not really.
Are we not equal in society? Am I naive for having thought that we were equal all this time?
Is it wrong to want to have a family, and look after a husband and children? To want to ensure their lives run like clockwork and they never lack food, water, comfort or laughter?
If a woman wants this for herself and thinks, or knows, it is what will make her happy and truly satisfied, is she doing something wrong?
Is she letting the side down by not wanting to take up arms and fight an injustice that she neither sees nor feels?
I'm confused.
I drank no wine at dinner. But my head is spinning from the SHITTY antibiotics the Yodi has made me promise to take until the very end.
I don't want to be a feminist.
I want to be something.
A lawyer? A publisher? A writer? A revolutionary? A revolutionary writer? A revolutionary writer's publisher?
A what?
Do I want to fight injustice? Yes.
But only if its an injustice I understand.
Like the Niger-Delta crisis, or the poverty, or the corruption amongst the powers that be.
Do I want to die in the process? No.
But am I willing to make sacrifices so that there will be change? Yes.
Do I believe that as a happy-go-lucky publisher cum author cum lawyer cum full-time mother cum part-time revolutionary I could see through a change?
I don't know.
I feel left out and confused.
I want a label.
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4 comments:
That's so weird...i'm the complete opposite and hate labels, i detest checked boxes! Ah well bitchy, (label #1 right there) you've just listed several labels that you're going to eventually subscribe to (can i get an "Amen") and right now, there are tonnes of them which you diffuse in and out of, but I understand that sometimes you want to be this one all-encompassing one that tells pp exactly what you stand for/believe in/strive for in life...but that hardly ever happens so I'd say be happy that u're the complex being ("sistuh"...sorry i cudn't resist) you are and roll with it (like you do everyday you wake up...i speak coz i know you...i'm sure it's the antibiotics/mini-u talking. so meanwhile, bonne nuit et soyez bien ma cherie!
You have to be a feminist if you want to avoid being complicit with patriarchy. Its tragic that many young women see feminism as a dirty word and associate it with being anti-man, anti-family etc. The struggle by male and female feminists in years gone by is precisely what has enabled many successful young women to be what they are today. If you are a Nigerian woman and not a feminist, you are part of the problem.
Women will continue to face sexual and normative violence, will continue to be circumcised, will continue to be patronised, will continue to be discarded once used in places like Nigeria, unless there is the kind of consciousness raising that feminism provides. By declaring that you are 'not a feminist' you are at the same time declaring that you do not want to align yourself with any kind of struggle for justice in any of these issues. Sorry to be blunt, but being a feminist should not be optional for a woman with brains and a desire to make a difference, such as yourself.
Jeremy I have to disagree with a lot of what you are saying. Feminism is not only needed in places like "Nigeria" there is a lot still to be sorted out in the western world as well. 2 in 10 alleged rape cases in England end in non-conviction as it is very difficult to prove and women face dehumanising cross examination, when over 100 female MPs were voted in during the 97 general election in England they were patronisingly referred to as "Blair Babes", domestic violence is still a real problem in many areas of the western world etc While there has been some advance compared to countries like Nigeria there is still a long way to go.
Many african countries actually treated women a lot better traditionally for example in Ghana you take the citizenship of your mother not your father. many African socities have been matriarchial with women having significant roles in the societies and wielding a lot of power. These have been warped through the advent of so called civilisation that our kind colonial masters decided to inflict on us. There are serious issues like domestic violence, female education and promotion of sex education but to suggest that it is only in Nigeria that women are used and thrown away I refer you to the trophy wife syndrome we see among many succesful men in US and Britain. There is still a glass ceiling in many sectors of the economy as various surveys have shown. I can go on with other examples but I think I have established what I am trying to say.
Overvall Feminism does need to be re-defined, I dont think women aspiring to be home makers should be frowned upon, it is their choice and perogative and different things make people happy. The key should be do they have equal opportunities to men to achieve what they want to achieve either as a career or as a home maker and are their human rights equally protected as well as their access to justice. These are the issues that need to be fought globally and is linked to the right to vote, education, access to family planning, economic empowerment (access to credit as well as job opportunities), justice against sexual and physical violence etc. All these have to be fought in the West still as well as Africa.
Well done, fabulous points there Wily. I agree with you 100%
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