Friday, February 09, 2007

Bye Bye B.T.

How utterly naive of me to think I had been deprived of BroadBand, not by the incompetence and inefficiency of imbecilic (?) men, but by divine intervention.

When I speak to inanimate objects, people think I'm joker. The last time I spoke to my boiler, several of you cracked up. Boiler was probably amused along with you lot, but his skanky ass isn't smiling anymore, that's for sure! Having overhead numerous telephone conversations, and having spied on a couple of meetings between myself and Mr. Davies of British Gas, Boiler is now fully aware that as of tomorrow, I will be in possession of a BRAND NEW boiler, and that said BRAND NEW boiler will be fully functional by Monday evening. What does this mean for Boiler? That his ass will be out in the cold, in an icy scrap yard, and that there'll be no Bitchy to plead with his daft self, or to beg him to keep her warm, any longer.

My phone line now, is taking me for a fool. Better yet should I say the morons manning my phone line i.e. BT. Not only have the nincompoops permitted TWO BroadBand providers to charge me (when only one of them was providing me with Internet service) for the last FIVE months, they've also now gone and removed BroadBand service from my telephone line, just because they felt like it.

Boy have they messed with the wrong Bitch this week.

Let it be heard now that I am prepared to forego BroadBand for the next two to three weeks if it means switching to another telephone company that won't be so utterly moronic and idiotic. They thought I was joking when I screamed at their stupid automated machine woman, as she talked yet some more nonsense about how they were too busy to attend to my call, but were "very sorry".

They thought I was joking... You may think I am too.

If they like they shouldn't call me back tomorrow "between the hours of 8 and 10am" like machine woman said they would.

They will see who is "very sorry" then.

Just to show that I really mean business and am not just talking out of my arse, I waited the 3 minutes it took for the Google Images page to load, in order to be able to give you an idea of just how angry I am right now.

3 comments:

Dami said...

OMG you are on dial-up! torture time, just take it easy or else you'll be attending anger mangt class.
i think bt and sky have it too easy in this country they are absolutely awful, they always take their time and would probably call when you are not around and blame you for it. i mean there are only 70m people in the uk pssst.
goodluck x

Bitchy said...

Thank you oh Dami... Its not even like they have to deal with all 70m of those people... The incompetent monkeys.

I'm about to call them back now. The buck has been passed yet again from BT back to Sky. Somebody is getting screamed at in a few minutes and one of the accounts is getting cancelled asap. They can't keep taking Bitchy for a fool.

Yes oh... Bitchy can handle it!!

Anonymous said...

lmao... babe you're hilarious... conversation with boiler eh.. i love it! i can't even prtend to understand the phone problems... i'm strictly cell phone!