First - Pseudo WHERE are you going??? I saw your farewell message on The Afro Beat. I was so stunned I had to break my Blogsville hiatus!
Second - Miss Willie, Yes you can be my blog girlfriend. Forget those boys, especially as one of them is leaving the ville for no apparent reason. Teehee!
Third - I realised today that outside of one's house, there really is no place in which one can have a good cry in PEACE in London town.
Permit me to explain.
Around about midday, I felt 'the urge' coming. I tried and tried to shake it off, but being a cry baby hotcake (as was evidenced in my Miss Jones post), I knew the bad boys were going to come rolling down my cheeks any second.
So I darted out of the library (the skank hell-hole in which I have passed the last two days - Urrgh!) and headed straight for the loos. I knew it was not an uncommon sight to see a fellow female boohooing in the ladies' room, so felt that I would be safe if I went into a cubicle and cried as quietly as poss.
The first cub I tried, was disgusting. The gentlemen I debated with at the weekend, about the cleanliness of women's toilets versus the cleanliness of men's, certainly LOST that argument. Let's just say there were things splattered all over the bowl and it was uuuug!
The second cub was the middle one, and it was more than pristine. I put the lid on the toilet seat and sat down, and as I did, I let the boohoos rip.
Barely thirty seconds later, I heard someone walk in, and the only thing that passed through my mind was, "Gosh, I hope this person doesn't hear me crying". What I should have said to myself was, "Oh dear I hope she doesn't come in here and poop the place out!"
Christ People!
I mean, I know loos are for both the numbers 1 and 2, and that one shouldn't discriminate because we're all human beings etcetera etceteroo. But I have always been of the opinion that when one feels 'the urge' (and not the teary kind I described earlier) and one is in a public place, one ought to discharge that urge with consideration for one's fellow loo-user!
So there I was sitting on the loo cover, trying to cry quietly, when Inconsiderate Girl slammed her way into the cubicle on my left (the one with all the gross stains I had decided was too gross to cry in).
This is the scene that unfolded...
Inconsiderate Girl: [Slams Door Shut]
Bitchy: Oh dear I hope it isn't someone I know. I don't want to have to explain why I'm crying. Cry quietly Bitchy.
Inconsiderate Girl: [Releases a lot of liquid very quickly]
Bitchy: Sob, Sob, Boo, Boo, Hoo
Inconsiderate Girl: [Liquid, Liquid, LOUD FART, Liquid]
Bitchy: What the...?
Inconsiderate Girl: [Plop Plop Proooop Plop Prrrooooop]
Bitchy: [Opens door with loud BANG and storms OUT!]
PLEASE tell me I am not alone in thinking that kind of behaviour is unacceptable? Especially when you know that there are other people in the ladies' room besides yourself?
27 comments:
a symphonious shit? This is the first am hearing of that one oh! Am actually on my way out now. Ill miss your blog however ill try to keep following. Just keep dropping me a line as and when you update. This blog is another candle in my heart that is flickering with a brilliant glow. Please dont let anyone blow it out
good bye
x
Damn! possibly, she thought she was alone in the loo.
Mehn, the way you even described the thing sef...Buwahahahahaha. Chei, Prop propopopo.
Did she eat some spicy yummy sturvs
You should have gone to the disabled loo ... really ... that's where I go!
LOL... very funny post. I guess she really, really needed to 'go'... Pele sha.
Bitchy!LOL!in the words of Jayz 'uve got screws loose, and im pulling these words out air like blue tooth' LOL! Funny post girl
How are ur exams going? Goodluck yeah and dont cry men it'll mess u up, wait when ur done then u can cry!
lmao that was bloody hilarious.. this babe you don mad completely.. sorry sha about whatever was making you cry but dang.. that girl was serious... i never ever do number 2 in public toilets... matter of fact i never do it at peoples houses... well because.. (um.. fine girls don't '****'.. lmao... have a great weekend luv.. and goodluck with the studying... come back soon sha
HA HA. So funny. And Jaja's comment, even funnier. But you know... she probably really had to go. I mean, she was in the loo for goodness sake! Loos were made for doing what she was doing, not for what you were doing... though I do feel for you.
I have a friend who was so uncomfortable about going to the loo at university (because other people in her dorm would use the same loo) that she would never 'go' during waking hours. She would 'save' herself and set her alarm at 3am and then get up and go to the loos on the other side of campus in the middle of the night to do that dreadful number 2... Once, she ran into someone she knew in the loo across campus at 3am and when they naturally asked what she was doing there, she simply couldn't explain.
At least the girl in your loo isn't psychologically disturbed like my friend...
ok ok, going by the general consensus i think ill be with you guys for a little bit longer although i'll be heading to Nigeria in a week. Besides in any event, I love all of you.
Understand the crying in the loos thing, I do it all the time and yes I do get annoyed by people being disgusting. Were they never taught 'hiding' techniques by their Mum like putting paper down first!!!! I give up with some people. I have found the park a nice place to go if you want o have a good sob in peace. Unfortunately for me my tears normally come in horrendous public places like the bus or train. I think I must be a cry baby like you. Thank God I'm not alone :)
LMAO.....na wa o....anyways, dont cry oo....after all when you become a high flying proffessional, you'll be happy that you went to uni....
xxx
If one must release, then one must. Mind you, if I know how my someting will fragrance the air, I tend to spray first (yes, I carry a small spray in my voluminous handbag) and then release, secure in the knowledge that I'm protecting fellow users' olfactory systems .
LMAO!!!!!!! at least she musta stopped you from crying for a while.she turned your tears into disgust! she's a bad mama!
meanwhile who/what made u cry?hhm, pele.
speaking of toilets,i used to take a 30minutes bus home to go to the Loo back in college days ... go figure.
hey girl ..pls check out my page and 9ja opeke's page on the whole blog ville idol thingy...let us know what you would like to participate in
Hey Girl,
Im new to this whole blogging thing but getting the hung of it now.
I read your blog about 'The Urge' - U had me in stiches...But come on now what else were u expecting to hear and how long did u think ur peasce and quiet was going to last in order for u to ball ur eyes out.
Maybe try doing it a phone box next time just pretend that ur chatting to someone on the phone .....lol
SistaSouljah
hey b..no non judegs wouldnt get to hear the contestants on 11th but on 12th tuesday and 13th wednesday and they can vote aftre listening to the contestants and judges remark
VOTE FOR MIMI!
lol girl where have u been?
hhmm...girl saw ur comment on pseudo's blog..
r u ok?
Everyone's comments have been so funny!
I have very high standards for loo protocol.
Mimi yes yes I'm ok :)
The end is in sight, Yaaaaaay!
update jo!!!!!!
NAIJA BLOGGERS- THE BOOK!
Dear friends, please do not forget to send in your submissions, a lot of people have sent in great stuff but a lot of my favourite bloggers are missing, what's up, people? Come on, send in your stuff! June 15th is the last day, come on!
Submissions should be sent to nigerianbloggers@yahoo.com not later than Friday, June the 15th 2007 stating date of blogging and blogname/address.
Hey babe... where are you?! miss u
Hey......hope studying is going well...!
xxx
HEY NIGERIA.(and er.. everybody else)..KILONSELE!......Thank you for ur support on the Blogville idol contest..The Contestants have sang their 2nd song (Nigerian songs)...please go to our page to listen to them and vote! ..Pls pls help us make this contest a success by voting..dont 4 get to leave us a comment!Thank you...PINKPEKE PRODUCTION
bloody inconsiderate of her.. but funny as hell
Where in the world are you?
.....tapping foot impatiently on the floor...
oh yea, by the time you come back, you will find that i am gone too :)
Yes! Will you come back please!!? We're all waiting. We can't wait forever. Come back!
Post a Comment