Boys Can't Cry - Part Deux

I seem to be part deux-ing everything lately, but I felt I had no choice where this particular post was concerned.

After writing Boys Can't Cry (numero uno) the other day, I was forced to reconsider my stance on the issue by my mother, who telephoned me all the way from Lagos to inform me that she was "ashamed" of the "bush" girl she had brought up.

According to mother (let's call her Snobby S for ease of reference - and please don't be fooled by the odd nickname, my mother is probably my best friend and is one of the most down to earth people I know, she just has a slight tendency to be uppity once in a while) the reason a lot of Nigerian men are "maniacs" is because of "ridiculous" attitudes like mine.

She said (and I'm paraphrasing here) that it's neanderthal-thinkers like myself who perpetuate this image of boys and men needing to be super-macho at all times, even when a good cry is more than justified.

She also said that if a man can cry in front of you, it is because he trusts you, and because he won't expect you to have a stupid (like mine she means) reaction or response to him.

After what can only be described as "the attack" from Snobby S, I suppose I was forced to think about why I had the attitude to men crying that I described in Part 1. And I realised that I had that attitude because of the little exposure I had had in the past to teary-eyed men.

{I have chosen to discount my brother in this short trip down memory lane that will follow, because crying when you're 10, and have just had your head clunked against a television set by your devil of a sister, does not count}

The first teary-eyed man I encountered was a philandering boyfriend from my early teens who pretended to cry (after subjecting me to much torture) when I refused to speak to him one particular afternoon. I remember sitting there looking at him thinking, "are you for real?" and "you actually expect me to believe that you're crying, when you're the one who's been messing around?" I was more than irritated by him at that stage, and I believe he too could see that I was on the verge of dumping his sorry ass which was why he resorted to turning on the waterworks.

The second was another boyfriend from my teenage years who, if I'm honest, I had no business dating. I can't remember much of our relationship, neither can I remember what he cried about, but I think it was something to do with the fact that I clearly wasn't in love with him, and was being a pretty mean bitch about it. I suppose he should be given marks for his powers of observation because at the time, even though I protested with "but you know I love you {insert pet name}, you just always beat me to saying it," [gag] over and over again, I was really thinking, "What the hell am I doing with this boy that I can barely stand to look at?!"

I guess the moral of the story is that Bitchy is a weirdo.

Or better yet, that Bitchy is just a bitchy bitch.

Or alternatively it could be that even though Bitchy would prefer a macho macho man, her Romeo is allowed to cry if he hasn't been pissing her off, and if her feelings for him are still genuine at the time, because then, she will probably cry along with him too from the sheer heartbreak of seeing her Romeo heartbroken*.

The End.

NB Heartbroken does not include soppyness over a football team's glory/defeat, sporting legends or any other sport-related eventuality.